The Problem With Humans
Fine, we don't have a very high intelligence quotient or at least that's what you think. But if it is so, how come we seem to understand you more than you understand us? You're high and mighty and walk on two feet while we walk and run on four but then again, if you ask us, we do it for you. We even dance for you the "tinikling". When you say "Bang, bang ... you're dead!" We know we're not, we pretend to be dead. When you ask us to sit, we sit down. When you ask us to be quiet, we stop barking. When you ask us to lay down, we lay down. You leave us out in the street while you play cards when in actuality, you're suppose to be exercising with us for the Obedience Trials Competition. You see, we do everything you ask of us and still you say that we're not as smart as you humans are. We don't even answer back when we know that sometimes what you ask us to do is totally absurd. Well, like that trick you just taught me recently. Put my butt up in the air. For what? So you can brag to your friends. It's not such a big deal, you know. Sometimes, we just don't get it. I thought it was for the stud next door's convenience when I am on heat. But then again, you put pampers on me. Of course, I'm going to bleed, I'm on heat and the guys are suppose to come. Not just one, all of them. That's why you call me a bitch, remember? You don't even have to call a shooter, takes away the fun. I love it when the guys court and fight over me. And you wonder why I did not get pregnant? You counted wrong, I lick and clean cause you don't like me dripping all over, remember?
Now when you teach us, you keep repeating it over and over again. Too much repetition! Don't you feel the same way when your mother nags you over and over again. You tell us once or twice, we don't do what you don't want us to do ever again. Look at the teenagers, you tell them and they don't listen.
If we're so dumb, why is it we know when you're feeling sad, feeling lonely or simply troubled? And why do you even bother talking to us when nobody is looking? And you know what else, we can tell right away when someone's intention is not good. You don't even have to command us to do something, we do it on our own accord and protect you from harm. What we don't understand is that when we ask you to take us out because our bladder can't hold the pee anymore, you completely ignore tugs, barks ... pacing. Then when we have accidents, you get mad. How about you hold yours, huh? When you got to go, you got to go. How come we know that and you guys don't? We also don't understand why you keep bathing us with those scented shampoos, spray us with we-don't-know-what. Don't you know that our sense of smell is like 20 times more than yours and it really is making us sneeze. And you wonder why we roll in the mud after you give us a bath. All of our friends are going to sniff us and it's really embarrassing you know. We prefer the nature's scent to the ones you have in your plastic bottles. They hurt the environment, those aerosols and chemicals. And you wonder why we're itching. One, we're carnivores and we know that. The only reason why some of us eat the stuff that you eat or the dog food you serve is because there's nothing else to eat. We all need to eat to survive but we'd rather have meat, you know. The real lean meat and you don't even have to cook it, we can take it raw.
And you know what else? Sure, you take us to dog shows. You hand me over to a handler I hardly see and all he does is throw the liver up and down ... up and down... up and down in the air. And man, when he throws it, he doesn't even throw it where my mouth is. Meanwhile, I'm drooling like crazy. And of course, some of us will salivate afterall the trouble that you've put into grooming us... Your handlers who charges HOW MUCH??? throws it on the floor, wasting good liver and won;t even let go off my leash so I can pick it up. It's good stuff. So it's there on the floor and the next dog, of course will come and get it. Duh! And man, inside the ring, a man or sometimes a woman comes up and touch me all over and some of their hands really grip hard. I remember once, I was told that a certain old person, I think you call them judge gripped somebody's balls to hard. No wonder, he no longer wants anybody near him when he's inside the ring. Some of them, they stare me down. Don't they know they shouldn't do that to a dog like me? Then they call me shy and have the audacity to excuse me from the ring. And some of them checking us out, we don't quite like the way they smell. We certainly can smell their pheromones and they're just as scared as we are of them. The handlers on the other, they keep tugging on the leash but the thing is, not that I'm dumb but they keep pulling the collar towards the wrong direction that I can hardly move. Sometiems, it's too tight that my front legs don't even touch ground. Now tell me, how can I possibly walk, gait and move correctly? I don't know but... ok, so you get thrills out of it. So fine, then let it be if it makes you happy. But the truth is, we don't really care if one of us is limping or lame. As long as he can run, he would still know how to have a good time. Pain, when it's play time, we forget about pain. When you run, we follow beside we still have 3. Remember you used to have a dog who walked on his 2 front feet and would still play with you? That's one other thing we don't quite understand, the dog shows! But you see, one does not have to understand to enjoy. So fine, you want us to go around and around in circles. Let's go then. What else do you want us to do, Master?
We do everything to please you. Now if that's why you call us dumb, we can also understand why. You teach us and we listen. We do as you please. But the things we want you to learn are simple ones ... look around you. Smell the air. The different scents tells a lot, you know. That's why we can even tell if it's going to rain. Enjoy your surroundings. Make every minute count the way we make every second when you're around. Run, make use of your feet. You'll be healthier. And you'll sleep better when you get that excess energy out bottled up inside of you. When there's food and you're hungry, eat. Be forever thankful and forgiving of people, like we are.
Don't look for something that is not there.
Simple pleasures ... simple joys ... simple life.
Live!
You know what, we just play dumb because you like being our masters. We just want you happy, the way you make us happy by just being our master.
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